I dont know why I keep trying to act normal….whatever that is. Every time I try to have an opinion wither it be online or real life people act like I’m stupid or over reacting. Constantly hating myself, and how I am because I see how it effects other people is killing me. Not in the dramatic sense…in the literal sense. I feel myself fading away into the darkness more than I ever have in my life. Everything I do is wrong. Every time I try to do something good it goes bad. I try to express an opinion, and they twist my words around so much that it sound like I’m being hateful. It fucking hurts. I don’t give a shit what anyone says about sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me… that is complete, and utter bullshit! That’s why suicide is in such high numbers these days because it’s drilled into our heads at young ages that we shouldn’t be hurt by the things people do to us unless they physically touch us. It’s people’s actions towards you, the way they speak to you, and interact with you that can hurt you so much it starts showing physically. Depression is fucking real. Anxiety is fucking real. All mental illnesses are real but instead of helping we get put into little categories that don’t fit in with the “norm” because we are always told it’s not natural….we are made to believe we are unnatural. It’s freaking natural as hell to me! I can’t make my mind think differently no matter how many positive memes people share, or how many times I’m sternly told to get over it or I’m being too sensitive because other people experienced the same things but reacted differently than me. Why am I broken? Why is it I’m made to feel ashamed because I get sad, and can’t smile like every else in the room?
…I’m no actress. I never signed up for this role……